Thursday, September 6, 2018

Fear


Fear, what is it and why do we have it? There are various reasons for fear. Some fears come from within ourselves, lack of confidence. Other fears stem from past programming from family, friends, teachers, peers and other areas. Fear is located within us and most of the time for no good reason. I want to change the word fear into uncertainty. Because in truth that is what most of us are experiencing.


Reasonable Fear

Some fears can be validated due to past experiences. My mom was in a bad car accident and never drove again due to the fear of it happening again. When we lose a loved one we might have fear about losing another one. There are all types of scenarios which one might find themselves in which is not a pleasant experience. In these cases fear is valid and very real however, it needs to be dealt with, so we can move on with our lives.

Dealing with Reasonable Fear 

My mom could have gotten back in a car again to drive, but didn't. Now my Southern Man was in a head on collision and able to get back in and drive. However, every time a car veered over the line he had fear of it happening again. For some the fear is so bad they need to get professional help. I lost my first husband when my children were 5, 7 and 12. My daughter and the 7 year old would get up at night to make sure I was still breathing. When I found this out I knew I needed to get them some professional help to deal with this event in their young lives. As time passed they got over that fear that something would happen to me as well.

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Fear of Failing

We have fear of failing, but let me ask this, why do we fear failure? Failing is a part of gaining knowledge of what to do and what not to do. There are many people who have failed the first time around, but kept going. Thomas Edison failed to get the light bulb right the first time and even the second time. If he let that stop him we would still be in the dark. The author of "Chicken Soup for the Soul" approached over one hundred publishers before he found one that would publish the book. Now they are all over and in other languages as well.

I Feared Failing

When I was in grammar school I never did well on tests. After dropping out of high school I decided, years later, that I wanted to go to college. I decided to get my GED, but told no one because if I failed I didn't want anyone to know. I'm sure they knew considering every night after work I would sit at the table with a big book labeled GED however, no one ever said anything or questioned me. Now mind you back in the day this was a 5 hour test. If I failed I would have to take it all over again. Needless to say I did pass and earned my GED.

The fear of failing tests stayed with me and I avoided doing things I really wanted to do, like becoming a personal trainer. At the same time I had later earned a scholarship to attend an online program to formulate natural skin care products using organic ingredients. Oh was I nervous, to pass the course I needed to complete a two part test. Really???? Not one, but two parts!!! This was something I wanted to do really bad and while I was afraid of failing I didn't let it stop me. I passed both parts of the test the first time around.   

Do it Afraid or Fake it til you Make it

If I would have let the fear of failure rule me I would never have earned my GED or have gone on to earn my associates in business. I would never have been able to formulate safe skin care products or even create custom products for individuals. Sometimes we just need to do it afraid or fake it til we make it. 

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Sounds Easy

I am not trying to say facing a fear or the fear of failure is easy. I am saying that if you don't try you will never know and maybe miss out on a great opportunity for your life. You can use my don't tell any body if it makes you feel safer and allows you to step out of your comfort zone. Take baby steps if need be, but don't let fear hold you back from having the life you want or doing the things you so badly want to. It's like getting into a pool. start with a toe, then a foot before you know it you'll be fully submerged in what it is you want.




This post is dedicated to all the members of the Facebook group "So You Want to Blog" who have expressed their fear of starting their blog. 


Fear on Biteable.

How do you deal with your fear?



3 comments:

  1. I absolutely loved reading this :). There is so much emphasis on irrational fears & anxiety/depression these days. I too am a sufferer. I also worry all the time that my kids (who shit me up the wall) are going to get hurt or killed. The statistics are very low but it does happen

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    1. I can so relate however, I have learned that the things we focus on we attract into your lives. While it is not always easy I do my best to let the thought come and let it go rather than dwelling on it. Thank you for stopping by and commenting.

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  2. Your words ring true +Joyce Wheeler. "Sometimes we just need to do it afraid or fake it til we make it." I've accomplished much (author of Colors of Joy,articles in magazines, newspapers, and online, and blogging). Every time I facilitate a workshop, I feel a little nervous. I do it anyway. I have so much to offer others, and it feels great to do work in health and wellness, subjects I love! That comes across in your piece too so celebrate!

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